“The sea called my soul… And I answered with all my heart.”
That time when you decided instead of fearing the sea to fall deeply in love with it. So much so that your Uncle Craig leaned over to me and said that he could totally see you traveling the world in search of the next wave. And you surprised me yet again. Reminding me that I cannot possibly predict your potential based on your past. Or mine. And why is it that even while I struggle against the strangulation of my own shortcomings at the same time I seem to shackle you with them? And why do I lay awake at night crying over the things that I cannot do and spend my waking hours crippling you with them?
Because, yes, you are my mini me in so many ways. And yet, you are so much more than me in all the ways.
“I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people – to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole” (Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall).
Please, Lord, give me the eyes to see her and love her as you do. And not through the lens of my own limitations and battles with sin. Please don’t let me place the weight of my journey of faith & redemption on her little shoulders as her own will be enough burden to bear. May you use me to untangle the knots that so easily ensnare her instead of my tendency to tie them around her even tighter…
And even though I know that you have much to overcome, I do not want to place you in a box and assume I know what will be inside when I open it. Instead may I stand in wonder as you are free to unwrap yourself fully and reveal the amazing gift that you are to this broken world, your mama’s heart included.
You make me want to brave the depths of the sea and my soul and not be afraid of drowning in the darkness that I may find there. You are the salt in my water, the sand on my beach, the sun on my skin and the waves in my sea. You cleanse, you chafe, you comfort and you challenge me.
You make me better. And may I find the courage & strength to return the favor, my beloved sea nymph – Emmylou.